Learn to say YES
Do people automatically expect you to say NO faster than you say YES? Learning to say “YES” easily was a piece of wisdom I came across as a young wife and parent. The wisdom behind this was that when you did need to say “NO”, it would be taken well knowing that it was not your usual answer just to avoid extra work or expenses. If possible, say YES to your kids asking to have a friend over, your students occasionally asking for more time on an assignment, your coworker asking you to lunch, or to your spouse asking to play soccer one night a week. Then when there’s a good reason to say NO it will be less of a shock or disappointment because you are known for saying YES to reasonable requests. Because our usual reason for saying NO to things with our children was typically due to scheduling conflicts, our children learned to check the family calendar before asking. This led to less conflicts and whining in the middle school years because it was not us saying NO because we were annoyed but because it was a schedule conflict. It also helped our children learn to negotiate…
